It’s Frustrating Being Frustrated

Every time I send out a query letter to a potential agent or publisher, I’m supposed to include in my bio, so ‘they’ say, my writing credentials. They are looking for previous publications and contests won (contests cost money to enter. Did you know that?) That’s what ‘they’ want. Most don’t even want a sample of the writing. Just a query letter containing a two paragraph synopsis and a bio.

Hmmm.

As Jeff says, “I got nothing for ya.” This is followed, about six weeks later, by a kind, well-written email (if they bother, it will be always be well-written) saying “I’m sorry but this is not what I’m looking for right now” or something to that affect. Even though I checked out their website, and made sure of exactly what genre they are looking for, or what they love to see and my book fills every single one.
Every. Single. One.
How do they know when they haven’t even read any of the actual book?

Th first time I ever saw my work printed and bound for distribution was in my junior high school yearbook (my artwork-those domed cities of the future are mine) and a few blurbs about students and clubs) which we, the yearbook committee, cranked out on a Gestetner copier and manually collated a few hundred copies.

Gestetner copy machine

Gestetner copy machine

Hectograph Gel copying

Hectograph Gel copying

They don’t want to hear that I put together, by myself, every week for several years, our tiny church’s Sunday program, including announcements, requests, and little tidbits of inspiration, still using a Gestetner barely smaller than the one we used at school. Sometimes I used a Hectograph gel tray but that was quite tedious as only a few copies can be made before renewing the transfer.

They don’t want to hear that I graduated from high school with an honors in English back when time and language were created, or that I dated Shakespeare. On second thought, maybe they’d like that part, but I promised him I wouldn’t tell anyone because of, you know, Anne Hathaway and the kids (his wife, not Kate and Gerald’s actress daughter!)

Should I include that screenplay a friend and I worked on in that same junior high school, when we created a new episode for The Man from U.N.C.L.E., a popular new TV series? Oh, right. It was never published and who knows where it is now.

Short stories for school? Always got an “A” but, well, for now, it’s the same problem. Not published and let’s face it, teachers aren’t looking for bestsellers and if I submitted those primary and junior high school works of art now, I’d be laughed out of town and still unpublished!

They don’t want to hear that I always had to add extra postage to mail letters to family and friends because it was impossible for me to not tell the events in our lives as a story, and not just a fact-based letter. (Thank the Maker for emails! Still long but now free to send.)
My philosophy has always been if a story is worth telling, it’s worth telling well.

My mom’s nine-page eulogy? No, although it was ‘self-published’ by my dad and the booklet was presented, along with a memorial fund, to a seminary in Alberta.

When I wrote, it wasn’t for fame or a desire to be famous. I wrote for my own pleasure and the pleasure of the recipients. When I got my first computer (a business version of a Commodore 64) I made pictures with my Christmas letters using DOS commands. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, ask your grandparents. My first masterpiece was a letter in the shape of a Christmas tree (a good way to limit the letter since I have admitted that I tend toward chatty missives!) I also had a Canada Flag shaped letter, the words filling in the red bars and central Maple Leaf. Try doing that today . . . never mind. It’s easy today. Just use a template. Suffice it to say I had to write out the commands, kind of like HTML, but more intense! It took me a lot of practice and self-teaching to master but it made it easy for me to learn HTML later!

Commodore Business (1984)

Commodore Business (1984)

Even when I penned (aka tapped it out on a keyboard) my first novel, it was completely cathartic and definitely not for others to see. The story of my life, starting in the third grade. Around chapter 14, when I caught up with the present day, and my life was completely unresolved, the story became a work of fiction. I went back through it, added, changed and made up events and conversations, created an even viler villain, and ended it with a completely fantastic and unrealistic ending. It was a great teaching piece. And I discovered that I loved writing fiction.

But they aren’t looking for that kind of writing credentials and of those they seek, I have none.

They are also looking for social media presence. Blog popularity: How many subscribers or followers do you have? How engaged are they?

My inner hermit screams.

I am not a social butterfly! I don’t post my everyday activities. My Facebook Author page has stuff on it not even related to my works because I have no news, no book signings, no sage wisdom or advice for other writers, no excerpts because my best excerpts would be complete spoilers!
Why isn’t my Facebook page more popular?
Because I am not published yet! The only thing I am an expert on at this stage is being the unknown author of an unpublished best seller!
And don’t even get me started about Twitter. What am I going to say in 149 characters including spaces? Short and sweet? Never heard of it! (See previous admission of being talkative even in my writing.)
Tried it tweeting daily diary and journal entries from Ana and Caleb to garner some interest. Even that was hard with 149 characters, but I persevered. No spoilers, of course, but no one ever commented. No one even noticed when I stopped posting them. Those who do follow me on Twitter, with a very few exceptions, do so only in the hopes I follow them and boost their massive numbers!

Blogging is more fun than tweeting, to me, at least, but it not the same as writing a compelling story which keeps the reader turning pages and gets them crying and staying up late to read just ‘one more chapter.’ Blogging doesn’t make you fall in love with or hate a figment of my imagination; it doesn’t kill off characters and make you cry. Okay, some blogs make you cry, but it’s almost always for a different type of reason.

I fail to understand how my ability (or rather lack of ability) to rack up high numbers of followers (on Facebook or this blog or on Twitter for a book which no one has heard of because it isn’t published) relates to my ability to turn out some freakishly awesome stories with characters that are fleshed out to the Nth degree! (Thank you, beta readers, for your truthful and uplifting comments and criticisms which allow me to state that as a simple fact.)

I’ve spent a lot of time trying to get Facebook followers for my Author page and I’ve cried a lot of virtual tears over ‘no one ever reads or subscribes or shares or comments on my posts.’ (** If you are reading this, I don’t know you’ve seen it unless you post some feedback. **)

So Please Read. Comment. Share. Like. Don’t stop doing this . . .

The Crystal Box

The Crystal Box

And going forward . . .

Recently, I’ve been in communication with a company (referred by my editor) who takes your book proposal and presents it on their website to attract not only publishers but readers who would like to pre-order the book! I’m almost ready to submit my proposal for their approval. I’m really excited to do this. Preparing the proposal application is way more detailed than I thought it would be so I’m having to gather information which I didn’t have already, such as providing the STATISTICS on why I think my intended audience (new adult, i.e. those just entering adulthood, and older) is, in fact, my audience.

Stay tuned!! Be assured that I’ll be posting about it if they accept my proposal.

Would you be interested in pre-ordering a copy of my book?

Please comment yes or no and the reason for your answer.

This will help me know how to proceed as I need to be able to answer this question: “Are you confident in your book idea and being able to presell 250 copies?”

I say YES!

Am I right?